I’ve lost myself – thanks to Motherhood…

Motherhood…the day you finally hold your sweet beloved in your arms. The DNA of the love of your life mixed with yours stirred into this beautiful creation you both now refer to as your child or children.

Your life is or has drastically changed from the moment your baby/babies made their first appearance to the world. You lose yourself…and give your all to this innocent being because its just the right thing to do! You go through days of no showers, hunger pains and gains and rush through the day with little to zero sleep just to see that smile on their small cute faces – all praises and glorifications belong to Him the Most High. Overwhelmed by mom duties, wifey roles, anxiety and busy schedules we sometimes forget to love our selves. We sometimes forget to show our partner a little love.

Some might say “Well how am I suppose to love myself when I don’t even got the time to show love to my SO?”

Make time mamas…we got to try and make time, I say this to remind myself especially. Over the last couple of months I’ve noticed the lack of attention I’ll give to myself and I’ve started to realize it’s extremely important for us moms to take time out to love ourselves. Cater to our needs, our health and everything in between. We as women, we are constantly giving, nurturing others and making sure everyone around us is okay. Since becoming a mom I constantly get the advice from 20 plus yrs experienced moms, if you don’t look after yourself, none will. They’re right! It’s the simple little things that matter and go a long way. Start small, taking your vitamins, going for short walks around your neighborhood or reading before bed. Even if its just giving yourself an hour or so a head start to your day or unwinding once you put the little one down to sleep for night…we need to gradually take time to remind ourselves why…. We need to take the time out to remind each other why – its crucial, its tough; but it can be done and trust and believe even with a baby it can be done!

Going through an entire month of daily routines and errands and duties can really get that anxiety level up there – especially if its been a few months since you’ve really done anything for yourself or even for each other.

Put a day of the week, your off day, a weekend and/or a Friday in a month aside for you, your man and the family. Allow yourself the time to just mellow out, allow yourself a day of necessary unwinding, a night the two of you can have a date even if it means dinner and a movie at home or a beautiful evening or memorial day out as a family. You deserve it!

Plan ahead, I know sometimes plans don’t always work in our favor but hey if we go out of our way to plan our work schedules why can’t we plan out our days off and spare hours. Don’t get me wrong – there ARE days I won’t even get time to shower till the following morning. Sometimes I’ll go through a couple days…lol! Seriously though! As messed up as that may sound it’s the definite truth of reality in my world and many other moms out there.

There’s only so much time in an our and so many hours in a day. I find if I give myself an hour before bed or two hours in the morning before baby M gets up I get more accomplished. I’m actually able to take a relaxing bath, give my hair some TLC, nurture my mind with a good read etc…makes me feel like I’m human again. 

On days when you and your spouse are home – make it count. Prepare a meal y’all both enjoy but haven’t had in a long time. After dinner do something together, a walk, a game…something to spend quality time with one another and the baby if they’re up. Days out in the park, a picnic, cookout all these out of the ordinary things can be ways to give each other some sensual time alone.

Another cute thing that can be done are notes to each other and the kids. Cards and hand made crafts work too…its the thought that counts.

Make each and every day count…even on your most busy days…it’ll bring a sense of tranquil.


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